*sigh*

I am a little beat. Like... ti-ered! Work is a bit overwhelming at the moment. So many projects and events are building up and getting ready to explode and I am not sure I am ready for it. The problem with it all is I don't know when it is going to slow down. I have to open a brand new full-service restaurant to rave reviews from the client, give away a 2007 Ford Mustang, support sustainability efforts in all of our food service locations, and get two of our renovated locations featured in American Schools and Universities Magazine's Educational Interior Showcase 2008 - all within the month of April! Not to mention the little things like resident dining events, implementing new deli, pizza, and grill programs, and making sure we are looking sharp enough in our merchandising to constitute being the "showcase account" in our region. I don't know if I can do it all!!! AGH! And if you think that everything I just said confuses you, imagine how much more it confuses me! haha

I'm trying to remain positive and be thankful for the job God has given me... It's just a little disheartening that because of my work, I don't think I have been able to truly reflect on the fact that Jesus' life, death, and resurrection have changed the course of my destiny and that He should be celebrated, especially around Easter. The message I heard at church on Sunday really broke me and made me realize how desperately I need the love of Jesus, and how wonderful it is that He has lavished love on me. But it also made me realize how much more I should be dwelling on His love and what that means for eternity and less on my immediate circumstances.

I keep thinking, "Oh, if only I were doing this with my life or was involved in that ministry, I would have more time to love God and spend time in His Word..." A good friend recently told me as I shared my heart to go to Africa this summer on a church missions trip: "As now, so then." Basically, the way things are now will be what they are then. If I don't make time to grow my faith now, going on missions trip won't change that. If I feel like the work I am doing now is not "good enough," nothing I do instead will satisfy either. I need to focus on where God has me and WHY He has me here, and stop questioning His sovereignty in my life. Only through thoughtful prayer and searching His Word will I know that I need to change occupations. If I don't trust God in my life now, what will make me trust Him if I do something "more worthy of His kingdom?"

So maybe planning events and making snotty college students happy about the food they eat isn't glamorous,and maybe it's not even eternal... All I know is that God has me here for a reason. And I refuse to stress about my circumstances and question the worth of what I am doing. Maybe one day I will get the chance to write wild and exciting stories about my ministries in Africa and Asia... Maybe not. It doesn't matter. I just pray that whatever I do, it pleases the Lord who loves me so.