Love and Tolerance

"Tolerance is not a Christian virtue. Love is a Christian virtue. Love is much more active than tolerance." (Quoted by the RUF minister at church today)

I was just thinking about the issue of tolerance earlier this week. It's a heavy word; it holds a lot of weight. It's a political word nowadays. It's a "nice" word. Someone who's tolerant is someone who is respectful, accepting. Well, that's what they'd have us believe anyway (and by "they" I mean anyone who would consider themselves tolerant).

In reality, tolerance is a really lazy verb. To tolerate means: a) to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction, b) to put up with. Hm... "to put up with." Wow, pat yourself on the back tolerators of the world.

I was watching a talk show and one girl had a sex change (she used to be a man) and another girl had a problem with it. The girl that had a problem was labeled as intolerant (and to be honest, she was), but I didn't have a problem with her intolerance. What I had a problem with was that this girl was extremely judgmental and mean, but when asked why she could only go back to, "Well, I'm from the South and that's not normal, and I'm a Christian." um... that was it. That's all she had to say... So the woman who had the sex change said that she liked living in the North because people were so much more accepting of her decision.

It's funny, because I am not the biggest fan of southern culture. I think it can be judgmental, stuck in old ways, and superficially sweet. However, I find it ironic that many people (who feel judged) will move to bigger cities in the North and say that those places are more accepting of their ways; they're more "tolerant." (Disclaimer: my point here has nothing to do with whether living in the North or South is better, and I don't think one is better than the other. People should live where they love to be.) It's ironic because I personally don't think the general culture in the North is any more accepting than anywhere else. Guess what... In New York City, where anything goes, it has nothing to do with the fact that everyone there loves you the way you are. Anything goes because nobody cares! Yeah, ya heard me. Nobody cares that you're gay, had a sex change, dropped out of school, whatever it is you feel judged about, because they're too caught up in their own lives to notice. And while that might be a welcome relief if you come from a place where everyone knows your name and story (and likes to tell your name and story to whoever will listen), it doesn't make you more accepted.

I guess my point is this: tolerance is not synonymous with acceptance. In fact, I think tolerance is an antonym of it. Tolerating something excuses a person from actually involving himself in whatever it is he's tolerating. "You do you, I'll do me."

I would propose that love is really the answer to tolerance. Love is active, it is probing, it doesn't leave well enough alone. In my life, I find the most love from those who will confront me. Those who actually love me will call me out because they care about me. None of us, not one of us, is above reproach. We all have hang-ups and sins that ensnare us. I don't want someone to just tolerate me, to just walk right past me without noticing I need help.

I think that most of the time Christians find it easier to jump on a soap box and blast people. That's almost as lazy as tolerating. It's a fine line to walk, knowing when and how to approach an issue that we know is sin. I know the answer is neither tolerance nor harsh judgment. The answer is love.

Again I am reminded of Jesus' encounter with the adulteress. When the men of her day brought her forward to kill her, Jesus tells them, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." They all walk away; who can argue with that? Jesus then kneels by the woman and tells her that there is no one left who will condemn her and that she must go and sin no more. He didn't deny that she was in sin, but He didn't condemn her (and I would like to also note that He didn't simply uninvolve Himself when the men brought her before Him)... What greater love than that?

The truth spoken in love. Sometimes it's a hard pill to swallow, I won't deny that. Love is not always easy, and it is not always smooth. It can cut like a knife when it needs to and it can mend any wound. The trouble is deciding whether we want it. Would we rather be loved? Or would we rather be simply tolerated?

Aren't we all?

Once, The Times of London asked famous authors to write an essay on the subject of 'What's Wrong with the World?'. G.K. Chesterton wrote in the form of a letter:

Dear Sirs,
I am.
Sincerely yours,
G. K. Chesterton