Why I've been MIA

I had a baby on March 13th. I cannot BELIEVE how fast the time is flying. Here she is in all her cuteness.

Love and Tolerance

"Tolerance is not a Christian virtue. Love is a Christian virtue. Love is much more active than tolerance." (Quoted by the RUF minister at church today)

I was just thinking about the issue of tolerance earlier this week. It's a heavy word; it holds a lot of weight. It's a political word nowadays. It's a "nice" word. Someone who's tolerant is someone who is respectful, accepting. Well, that's what they'd have us believe anyway (and by "they" I mean anyone who would consider themselves tolerant).

In reality, tolerance is a really lazy verb. To tolerate means: a) to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction, b) to put up with. Hm... "to put up with." Wow, pat yourself on the back tolerators of the world.

I was watching a talk show and one girl had a sex change (she used to be a man) and another girl had a problem with it. The girl that had a problem was labeled as intolerant (and to be honest, she was), but I didn't have a problem with her intolerance. What I had a problem with was that this girl was extremely judgmental and mean, but when asked why she could only go back to, "Well, I'm from the South and that's not normal, and I'm a Christian." um... that was it. That's all she had to say... So the woman who had the sex change said that she liked living in the North because people were so much more accepting of her decision.

It's funny, because I am not the biggest fan of southern culture. I think it can be judgmental, stuck in old ways, and superficially sweet. However, I find it ironic that many people (who feel judged) will move to bigger cities in the North and say that those places are more accepting of their ways; they're more "tolerant." (Disclaimer: my point here has nothing to do with whether living in the North or South is better, and I don't think one is better than the other. People should live where they love to be.) It's ironic because I personally don't think the general culture in the North is any more accepting than anywhere else. Guess what... In New York City, where anything goes, it has nothing to do with the fact that everyone there loves you the way you are. Anything goes because nobody cares! Yeah, ya heard me. Nobody cares that you're gay, had a sex change, dropped out of school, whatever it is you feel judged about, because they're too caught up in their own lives to notice. And while that might be a welcome relief if you come from a place where everyone knows your name and story (and likes to tell your name and story to whoever will listen), it doesn't make you more accepted.

I guess my point is this: tolerance is not synonymous with acceptance. In fact, I think tolerance is an antonym of it. Tolerating something excuses a person from actually involving himself in whatever it is he's tolerating. "You do you, I'll do me."

I would propose that love is really the answer to tolerance. Love is active, it is probing, it doesn't leave well enough alone. In my life, I find the most love from those who will confront me. Those who actually love me will call me out because they care about me. None of us, not one of us, is above reproach. We all have hang-ups and sins that ensnare us. I don't want someone to just tolerate me, to just walk right past me without noticing I need help.

I think that most of the time Christians find it easier to jump on a soap box and blast people. That's almost as lazy as tolerating. It's a fine line to walk, knowing when and how to approach an issue that we know is sin. I know the answer is neither tolerance nor harsh judgment. The answer is love.

Again I am reminded of Jesus' encounter with the adulteress. When the men of her day brought her forward to kill her, Jesus tells them, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." They all walk away; who can argue with that? Jesus then kneels by the woman and tells her that there is no one left who will condemn her and that she must go and sin no more. He didn't deny that she was in sin, but He didn't condemn her (and I would like to also note that He didn't simply uninvolve Himself when the men brought her before Him)... What greater love than that?

The truth spoken in love. Sometimes it's a hard pill to swallow, I won't deny that. Love is not always easy, and it is not always smooth. It can cut like a knife when it needs to and it can mend any wound. The trouble is deciding whether we want it. Would we rather be loved? Or would we rather be simply tolerated?

Aren't we all?

Once, The Times of London asked famous authors to write an essay on the subject of 'What's Wrong with the World?'. G.K. Chesterton wrote in the form of a letter:

Dear Sirs,
I am.
Sincerely yours,
G. K. Chesterton

Regina Spektor's song: Laughing With

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say. "we got some bad news, sir"
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine or fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’ve lost all they’ve got
And they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize
That the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God when they’re saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughing at God in hospital
No one’s laughing at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God