"The mark of rank in nature
Is capacity for pain;
And the anguish of the singer
Makes the sweetest of the strain."
I have always known I am a melancholy person. What some would call "depressing" are the things that appeal to me. I love a story with struggle and hardship. I love a story when someone overcomes immeasurable odds to gain an unspeakable prize; I feel deeply when there is some great loss for the character in the story. The hunky-dory life just doesn't appeal to me in any way. I have to admit that sometimes I am a glutton for punishment and I make things harder on myself than they have to be. I tend to complicate things, and I never really understood why until recently (it sounds kind of masochistic, doesn't it?). I think I just feel wrong about having some things handed to me.
The fact is, sometimes they are handed to me, and I need to look at those things as sweet, undeserved blessings from God (like the growing baby inside of me). But I still think that too many times, at least in American culture, we expect things to be easy and we want them without conflict. Pain hurts and we just don't to deal with it. I think it's because of the expectation for life to be pain-free, that we face the most disappointing and discouraging times of our lives. Instead of trying to discover what purpose the pain serves, we try to avoid it at all costs.
Well... no hardship makes for a very boring story, and I'm not satisfied with living a boring story. I'm also not interested in engaging in someone else's boring story. (Does that sound harsh? Well, I really feel passionately about this!) I listened to Donald Miller talk about this idea of life being a story. He said that conflict is a vital part in any interesting or worthwhile story. Who ever read a good book that didn't have an on-going conflict, an obstacle to be overcome in order to get their desired end?
Maybe that's what's wrong with our culture and this idea that "life is meaningless." Well, I'm sorry to say it, but if you think all life is meaningless, maybe you're just living out a boring story and it's your life that is currently meaningless. I think God offers much more for our lives. He is the greatest storyteller. I am fascinated by God's words to Ananias, His servant, as He tells him to go and seek out Saul, who has just been blinded by the Lord on his way to Damascus (Acts 9.)
v. 15 - 16 "But the Lord said to Ananias, 'Go! This man [Saul] is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.'"
God planned the suffering of Saul (shortly thereafter called Paul) into the story of this man's life. And by the sound of it, He planned great suffering. And who is the most talked about apostle now? Who's writings and teachings are we constantly looking to? Paul, our favorite New Testament hero behind Jesus, had one of the most conflict and pain-stricken lives of anyone I've ever heard of. And His story was told and continues to be told.
So, I encourage you, and most certainly myself, to embrace the suffering of this life. Embrace the story God wants to tell through your life, however painful it may be. Think of the Apostle Paul, Job, Moses, the twelve disciples, Stephen who was stoned, and love the God who has His hand over all of it. And don't forget to sing in your anguish, because that song is the most beautiful story you will ever tell.
